Naivity & Safety

There is a lot to be said about ASD and safety. Many with Aspergers tend to be rather trusting and naive and that can get us into trouble.

I'll tell you, I have no idea how I managed to make it this far without being seriously hurt. However, I suppose I was never without protection.

My parents were very protective. Although I don't remember making a huge deal out of it, I'm sure I was disappointed that I wasn't often allowed to go and hang out or sleep over at my friends' houses. However, knowing what I know now, it was protective.

I had a very close teacher take the time to talk to me before I went to college (and before I was dating my husband which began 3 weeks before I went to college). He warned me that so many boys are out for just one thing, and once they get that one thing, they don't care about you anymore. (Still true, even for people older than college age.)

Then, being socially awkward and dating someone, I was protected from a lot of possible bad experiences dating guys or going out in college. 

And those are just the dating/relating examples! My life has been very protective, and for good reason. I still am too quick to trust people sometimes, and I am too quick to give people a chance. Is there really such a thing? Maybe. There are times when I have been completely open and honest about my feelings and intent to  be friends with someone, and it turns out they were either not interested nor felt the same. That is rough, and it makes me feel taken advantage of. 

People with Aspergers shouldn't be used just because we CAN. It isn't fair that people take advantage of others. We can look out for each other too, so help someone else out when you know they are being taken advantage of. 

That all being said, we do usually have a very good handle on right and wrong. We can usually see right and wrong, even in situations that don't really involve us. This can be helpful because if we know right from wrong, its hard to be pulled into doing things that are wrong! I am grateful for this. I was always the kind of person who thought drugs, smoking and alcohol were just stupid things to do, and I can honestly say that I was not offered as much as a cigarette until college. How that managed to happen, I'm not sure, but maybe when you stand for right, people just know better. That's what I'd like to think anyway! I honestly believe that our strong adherance to rules and routines help to keep us protected. We usually don't come across sticky situations because we keep to routine, we keep to what we know, we keep to right!

I wonder, if more NT people kept to "right vs wrong", would they be less likely to fall victim to things? I don't know. We certainly are still vulnerable to a lot of things. Bullying usually happens TO people with Aspergers. It would be very hard to imagine anyone with Aspergers having the ability to bully anyone else, especially bullying with malicious intent. Though we might be pushy because of our strong keeping to right vs wrong, that doesn't make us a bully, and actually keeps us from bullying because it is wrong to bully!

I suppose not every person understands right vs wrong in that way, I'm sure there are exceptions to the rule. But I am grateful for my protected life.