That Overwhelming Feeling

I am still ever in the process of learning more about myself, and better understanding it through the lens of Aspergers. 

I have come to realize that the days I have felt the worse are the days I go to town. I hate going to town, to be honest, especially on my own, and especially now with two kids! There is so much to worry about, and so much to try to take care of and remember to do. Of course, this is on top of other things I have to do at home, including the physical therapy exercises (which are driving me crazy, by the way, because I have a hard time remembering to do them, or having a free chance to do it!)... Some days life is just a bit suffocating!

I don't know why, but knowing that going to town is a "trigger" for me is releasing a lot of stress from my head. I know I am going to be overwhelmed, so for some reason I feel better about it. I guess knowing that I'm not really sick helps maybe? 

Life has been pretty good. Being able to stay home with my babies is really lovely! Now watching my oldest struggle a little bit with things in his life, all these presenting features of Aspergers in him, I am so glad that I have made the choices I have made, and I am glad that I have him here with me, and that he can relax for another year and learn by play instead of book work. Sometimes I feel as if we should be doing something, but I know that if he were ready, we would be doing it! 

Either way, I am having less moments with that overwhelming feeling. I know when I get home, I can't stand any bickering between me and our son, or my husband and our son, I end up speaking really quietly and just asking "please lets not argue tonight....", and the TV is too loud and I just need some quiet and peacefulness and some really laid back relaxing. I have yet to tell Jeff in a good moment about this specifically, but I know that I should and will when I get the chance. 

I love every moment since I have been diagnosed. Even assuming I was an Aspie wasn't enough. KNOWING, that has been the "cure" for a lot of the issues I encounter in my life. If I can look at issues through the Aspie lens, and find resources or experiences of other Aspie women, then I can look at the situation and realize that this is normal for me, that it is okay. I'm not sick, I'm not going to have an anxiety attack or panic attack for no reason, I have had to learn that these things are signs that I am doing too much and I need to give myself a break, and get more rest! When I do that, I always wake up refreshed and feeling 100% again. This has all been good!

So if you are an adult who thinks you might have Aspergers, please talk to your doctor about being tested. It could really make a difference in your life, and ease all the problems and worries that you have in your life!

Overwhelming & Exhausting

I am  30 years old, and I'm still learning about myself.

With the recent birth of my baby, I have realized that I have more signs that I need rest than I realized. Obviously, the normal "feeling tired" type symptoms aren't the only indication.

I get an odd feeling in my head when I am needing rest desperately. It is hard to describe. It almost feels like my head is heavy, almost as if I'm not in my body, and though I have never fainted, I would probably describe it as an almost faint feeling.

I have choices when I feel this way: ignore it and go on feeling miserable, or sleep. With a new baby and 6 year old, sleep is hard to come by, but I'm learning that the sooner I can get to sleep, the sooner I can feel better and get over that icky feeling! I hadn't ever really realized that this was a tired signal, I almost always felt it was something else, like a panic attack or something, because I don't often get overtired, but I do get overstressed sometimes. Usually this feeling comes when I'm overwhelmed and overstressed, so of course I connect it to a panicky type feeling. But I am realizing that even when it is caused by some kind of stressor, sleep is the cure! 

A lot of Aspies feel that sleep is their cure for overwhelming times, moments, feelings and emotions. What are YOUR signs of overstress or exhaustion, and what are your cures?