Last Minute

I know I have never been the kind of person who deals well with changes at the last minute. I think in my life I have done rather well, I can handle major changes in general pretty well. It's the ones that come at the last second that drive me up the wall. Mostly because I plan ahead in my mind what a day (or whatever) is going to be like. Then some last minute change comes along and pulls the rug out from under me and I'm left feeling rather frustrated or very sad. 

This seems to be pretty common with Aspergers. We don't like unexpected change. Maybe this is why so many of us desire and obsess over gathering information and knowledge about something. We want to be as prepared as we can be, and know as much about something as we can, so that not much can take us by surprise. 

For example, when I was first pregnant, I got my hands on a lot of very informative material! Though I refused to read the "What To Expect..." series, I was given books through my insurance company healthy start program, and my doctor's office. One of the books that meant a lot to me was "The Birth Book" by Sears. This book is still the best book on birth I have ever read. No book I have run across since has been as honest and informative as that book. Of course, if you know the Sears', you know they have written quite a few books on parenting and related topics. Both Martha and William Sears have written books as well as their son Robert, who wrote "The Vaccine Book". So of course I got my hands on as many of those as possible as well, and read them too.

Not much has changed with this pregnancy! I still rely on the same resources that I loved so much the first time around. I am going to read "The Birth Book" again, because I know it gave me so much motivation and information the first time, I want that same confidence the second time! It has been more than 6 years after all! I like to be reminded why I made the choices I made to avoid drugs and other interventions, and I am more concerned with my birth plan being respected this time. In addition to my husband I am having a friend come as well, to help deal with those kinds of situations I regret having, such as the "pushy nurse" who would not stop asking me if I wanted something (even though I repeatedly said no, she just kept asking!). She wants to go into midwifery, so she will be perfect for what I need! 

We got a couple of DVDs from Netflix called "Laugh and Learn About Childbirth" as well. This way we don't have to retake the classes at the hospital, which are more geared toward first time parents. It was pretty awesome! Even the parts that we know we don't want to have to worry about, such as the drugs and c-section parts of the movie, I wanted to watch anyway because I just do not want to have to be surprised! 

See what I mean? The power comes from the knowledge. I don't think that ONLY people with Aspergers should have knowledge, and I don't think that ONLY people with Aspergers gain a lot of power from knowledge. I think that EVERYONE should have the right information for whatever in life so they are prepared. Many people will tell you each birth experience is different, which is true, but the body's process is exactly the same. You will go through the same phases, you will go through the same process. Information helps you to know what is happening, that all this pain has a purpose and reason and that blocking the pain has certain risks. Especially knowing about the risks certain choices will cause is critical to experiences we face! You have to know what you are risking by the choices you make! Whether its birth, or whether to drive or fly to your destination, there are risks and costs, and one has to have the knowledge to be able to accurately and sensibly make the right choices. Making the choice based on little to no information, or based on what choices someone else makes is a rather foolish decision.

Anyway, so today I am dealing with one of these last minute situations, and though it has NOTHING to do with pregnancy (at least not physically), I am still constantly surprised at how fast the tears can fall from my eyes when I am faced with a disappointing change or last minute plan. It is frustrating, and yet unpredictable. There is no way I could have planned for that, unless I plan for it every day and just get surprised on the days that it doesn't happen.