Being Sick Is Unacceptable

Thursday night, out of nowhere, I got sick. I thought I got motion sickness while briefly watching a home movie. But I don't think that baby and husband got motion sickness because they weren't watching it!

It's been terrible. Took over the entire weekend. Yesterday we were able to get outside, but I'm still completely exhausted at the littlest work. It's only been 4 days, so I should give myself more of a break. 

But the problem is that I don't like to get out of "routine", and being sick definintely gets me out of routine. Then I try to get right back into routine and apparently my body just isn't ready yet, and I end up feeling bad again.

So I'm hoping to start getting better rest, and start getting to feeling back to normal soon.

Routine & To-Do List

I used to live by routine. You could clock it. You could almost tell what time it was based on what I was doing.

Once I was on my own, however, I don't know that I settled into a routine very well. I remember missing a lot of class in college. I actually don't know how I managed not to miss something important. Or, perhaps, I did.

Having babies did not improve the routine. I do not tend to run on a schedule, or so I think. It isn't like we do x at a certain time, then y, then z. I fly by the seat of my pants because things can get wild with kids, can't they! So I think I try to avoid too much schedule because I'd rather not have one at all than have one that keeps getting messed up. No schedule because of the inconveience/frustration of changing it, right? Yes.

However, we do have a rhythm. I've noticed this because since having my daughter 4 months ago, and starting physical therapy, I am having trouble getting things done or remembering to do things. With a lot of things that isn't a problem really, but its the new things that are the hardest to deal with I suppose. I have a hard time remembering to do my physical therapy! Or, I think of it when I am unable to do it; when I'm cooking, when I'm nursing the baby, or when its 11:30 and I'm finally settled in bed next to the sleepy nursing baby. I have forced myself to do it, even at 11:30, but it is really hard knowing how tired I am and how tired I will be in the morning, and the feeling of wanting to try to get up earlier in the morning, mostly for my son who wants me to be up. :P

I think this is an issue Aspies have to deal with. I think that there is a sort of overload of "to-dos", and it is hard to add anything to your rhythm. Like, it feels like my brain processing is running at max capacity, and adding things to it is very difficult! 

I have been thinking about this post for a while, and I think I have forgotten most of what I wanted to say, but I have a feeling I'm going to hear from other Aspies who have difficulties in this area. 

My son got referred to physical therapy for some of his back pain, leg pain, and pain while writing. She said he has very little core strength. These kids can be moving moving moving, but if they slow down at all, theres no muscle strength to hold them and it falls apart. She also said that some occupational therapy can help him too. Hopefully it will be as simple as her writing to the doctor and getting the referral. But it was reassuring I suppose that he is indeed dealing with some issues other than normal "being a boy". 

I say that to say this: Now I'm sure it's going to be interesting because he is going to have his own kind of work to do for physical therapy as well! I'm hoping that this will help me to do mine, because I can do it the same time as he does his. But a part of me is afraid that I'll drop the ball on this and I know that my problem and his problem is probably related, and that helping him now can  help to avoid him being my age and trying to fix these problems. 

Anyway, anyone have trouble fitting things into their schedule, especially when it's something new? Like, even starting taking a vitamin is hard for me to remember!

When Is A Routine A Routine?

When I was a kid, I am pretty sure that I lived by a set routine. I got up at 6:30 (even though the bus didn't get there until 8 AM), and I showered. I ate breakfast, and then I would curl my hair. I would usually have plenty of time to wait for the bus. I'd go to school, and come home and hang out in my room. (This was when I was older, I don't remember before this one what I would do). I would do homework, listen to the radio, read books, whatever. When I started being involved in band activities/plays/sports and whatnot, this varied a little with practice/rehearsals or whatever. These things fit nicely into my routine, until it was simply routine to stay after school, even if I didn't have something going on. Ooops, I missed the bus. Oh well, my sister has ______. The last few years of school, between volleyball, cheerleading and my sister's basketball, and track, I was involved in something every day after school anyway. 

This was the routine I remember having for years.

I am still pretty stuck in my morning routine. If I vary from it too much, I end up forgetting to do something, like put on deodorant. I can tell you that as of lasts summer, if I varied in my morning routine in any way, deodorant was forgotten. Yes. That's embarrassing.

However, for the rest of my day these days doesn't really have a solid, written in stone rountine. There are things however that I plan to do, or think of doing the morning or even the night before. These things feel like "routine" to me, but I don't know if they are a scheduled routine, know what I mean? I was once told in therapy that it would help me and my son if I had almost a written schedule for when we would do certain things. Then he would know that we had a set time of doing something together or whatever. I have thought about that almost every day since, but I have yet to actually make or follow any sort of schedule. Now, with the new baby and technically less time for focused time with my son, I am thinking that it would be a really good idea to actually implement this.

But when is a routine a routine? What makes a schedule a schedule? Is it because we write it down and follow it to the letter? For some reason, to me, that seems very rigid. What if things change? Sometimes I do make choices to do things at the "last moment" - which seems strange for someone with Aspergers who doesn't like change. But sometimes I do decide we are going to the store or something at the last minute. I know it seems like the last minute to my son, but most of the time I consider doing it for at least an hour beforehand... so maybe that isn't so much last minute? 

I wonder if I would feel better with a written schedule. Now, where to write it. I had "borrowed" a whiteboard from my parents house (hey, they've been gone 4 years and it hasn't been missed) but my son LOVES drawing on it, so I don't have the heart to take it away from him just to use for a schedule. LOL. I could print something out and hang it I suppose. But would it make me feel any better? Would it be too rigid for me? Would it make my son feel better and more in control? Since I think he is a lot like me, and possibly could have the same "little professor" reorder that I have, maybe it would help him feel more content and less frustrated if he knew what was going to happen and when? I could set days for doing things, like check and groceries on Fridays, that kind of thing? I mean, in a way, we already have certain things we do routinely. Would writing it down make it more valid? I don't know. 

When is a schedule a schedule and a routine a routine?