I haven't seen a lot of articles or information on Aspergers and obsessive thoughts. So I'm writing, and if anyone knows of any information on this, please share it in the comments.
Without going into detail, I "suffer" from obsessive thinking. Sometimes, certain topics can get stuck in my head, and I ruminate over it for a long period of time. Sometimes this happens until the situation is resolved but this is not always the case. Sometimes the issues causing these thoughts never really resolve, the situations in mind never come to an end, and the problem I am ruminating over just remains there in the backburner. I can go for weeks thinking about one topic/issue, and I have no way of removing that from my mind. It is rather frustrating.
The most frustrating thing about this is that I am deeply affected by what I am thinking about. My mood, my ability to function normally, my ability to be social and my ability to complete daily tasks is greatly affected by this thinking glitch. I am rather moody, short tempered, and avoidant. What I think I'm trying to do is escape the thoughts and thinking, but in the process I have to avoid everything else in my life as well. Complete escapism. I get rather annoyed when interrupted in these moments of trying to escape. It has a completely overwhelming effect on my entire life, and I am unable to handle much of anything else.
Sometimes, these thoughts might not have much or anything to do with me personally. Much in the same way as NT's care about and worry for their friends and family, even if the situation doesn't have a lot to do with me, I still ruminate over it. I still end up focusing on it. I still end up overly upset over the situation. Most people find this rediculous, if it has nothing to do with me, and if I have no control over the situation, first why do I care, and second, what good does worrying about it do?
The problem is that no matter how much I dislike and do not want to be thinking about it, I am unable to keep these thoughts from taking over my head. This is something that is beyond my control. This is something that I have never been able to resolve.
I am unsure what the solution to dealing with this is. I do try to pray a lot about it. At first, for the right resolution to the problem, the just solution. After a long period of thinking about it, and as the frustration that I haven't been able to remove it from my thinking increases, I pray for it to be lifted from me. This sometimes helps, but often not as quickly as I would like, and it doesn't completely remove the thought. The thoughts still come back time and time again, though less frequent. I become quite agitated that once again this thought is in my head and causing a disruption in my life. However, these relapses are usually short lived, or are only intense for a short time, retreating to a mild thought that still remains on the backburner.
I have not been able to try consistent, regular therapy or counseling to get things off my chest. I do not have a lot of friends living near me, and fewer still that I would trust to vent all of my frustrations to. In the past when I have expressed my thoughts or obsessive thinking, I have often been met with the responses of "It has nothing to do with you - just stop thinking about it", or, "Don't worry about it, it will be fine". Sure, that might be "true" to the listener, but the fact of the matter is that neither deals with the fact that these thoughts are very strong and controlling in my head, and I wouldn't be bringing them out to the ears of someone else if I could have handled it myself. Sometimes just getting it out there and having a sympathetic or listening ear is enough. But the majority of the time that ear does not exist or is not present during my time of need, and the stress never gets removed from my head.
I would think that regular therapy and counseling would be helpful because you get that non-judgemental, understanding ear that just listens, you get to speak what is going on in your head without judgement or ridicule. But I have been unable to try this because it is a distance to get to a counselor that I trust or feel comfortable with. Maybe someday this will be an easier obtained solution.
Do any other Aspie's have trouble with this kind of thinking? Is this part of how we deal with stressful situations, or unjust situations? Is this because of our strict adherence to doing the right thing and wanting the right thing to be done by everyone?
Without going into detail, I "suffer" from obsessive thinking. Sometimes, certain topics can get stuck in my head, and I ruminate over it for a long period of time. Sometimes this happens until the situation is resolved but this is not always the case. Sometimes the issues causing these thoughts never really resolve, the situations in mind never come to an end, and the problem I am ruminating over just remains there in the backburner. I can go for weeks thinking about one topic/issue, and I have no way of removing that from my mind. It is rather frustrating.
The most frustrating thing about this is that I am deeply affected by what I am thinking about. My mood, my ability to function normally, my ability to be social and my ability to complete daily tasks is greatly affected by this thinking glitch. I am rather moody, short tempered, and avoidant. What I think I'm trying to do is escape the thoughts and thinking, but in the process I have to avoid everything else in my life as well. Complete escapism. I get rather annoyed when interrupted in these moments of trying to escape. It has a completely overwhelming effect on my entire life, and I am unable to handle much of anything else.
Sometimes, these thoughts might not have much or anything to do with me personally. Much in the same way as NT's care about and worry for their friends and family, even if the situation doesn't have a lot to do with me, I still ruminate over it. I still end up focusing on it. I still end up overly upset over the situation. Most people find this rediculous, if it has nothing to do with me, and if I have no control over the situation, first why do I care, and second, what good does worrying about it do?
The problem is that no matter how much I dislike and do not want to be thinking about it, I am unable to keep these thoughts from taking over my head. This is something that is beyond my control. This is something that I have never been able to resolve.
I am unsure what the solution to dealing with this is. I do try to pray a lot about it. At first, for the right resolution to the problem, the just solution. After a long period of thinking about it, and as the frustration that I haven't been able to remove it from my thinking increases, I pray for it to be lifted from me. This sometimes helps, but often not as quickly as I would like, and it doesn't completely remove the thought. The thoughts still come back time and time again, though less frequent. I become quite agitated that once again this thought is in my head and causing a disruption in my life. However, these relapses are usually short lived, or are only intense for a short time, retreating to a mild thought that still remains on the backburner.
I have not been able to try consistent, regular therapy or counseling to get things off my chest. I do not have a lot of friends living near me, and fewer still that I would trust to vent all of my frustrations to. In the past when I have expressed my thoughts or obsessive thinking, I have often been met with the responses of "It has nothing to do with you - just stop thinking about it", or, "Don't worry about it, it will be fine". Sure, that might be "true" to the listener, but the fact of the matter is that neither deals with the fact that these thoughts are very strong and controlling in my head, and I wouldn't be bringing them out to the ears of someone else if I could have handled it myself. Sometimes just getting it out there and having a sympathetic or listening ear is enough. But the majority of the time that ear does not exist or is not present during my time of need, and the stress never gets removed from my head.
I would think that regular therapy and counseling would be helpful because you get that non-judgemental, understanding ear that just listens, you get to speak what is going on in your head without judgement or ridicule. But I have been unable to try this because it is a distance to get to a counselor that I trust or feel comfortable with. Maybe someday this will be an easier obtained solution.
Do any other Aspie's have trouble with this kind of thinking? Is this part of how we deal with stressful situations, or unjust situations? Is this because of our strict adherence to doing the right thing and wanting the right thing to be done by everyone?
