Empty Glass

You know how you fill up a glass with your favorite beverage? How great it feels to have a full glass of water when you're thirsty?

Children are thirsty little life drinkers. In the morning, after a good shower and getting dressed and eaten, most mornings I'm in good shape. I am a full glass.

If I am sick, or a kid is sick, or (insert other overstimulation here), I start out the day in poor shape.

Most parents feel that bedtime is a great time. Finally, bedtime! Especially for somebody who hasn't even gone to the bathroom one time without a kid in the room or walking/crawling into the room, bedtime is glorious. 

My glass is empty. My glass is completely dry. Yet, some nights there is a persistent resistance. Every kid has this sometimes. Most nights are the glorious I speak of. But some nights, again, are just a battle. It's a "get out of my hair" time of day. It's a "this is the first chance I've had to not hear someone speaking all day". Its a "This is the first chance I've had to do my PT all day because I've been a mom all day today". 

Of course, after a week of exhaustion: baby spent 3 days screaming and needing to be held every second (I think teething and a developmental leap happened) and her not sleeping well either, and then followed by a week of big guy getting sick and being fussy and snotty and coughy and not sleeping at night because his inability to breathe woke him up disoriented and confused and crying and unable to hear us ask him what was wrong.... THEN baby and I get sick once that finally was over... its all added up to 2 weeks of pure frustration, exhaustion and madness. 

And now this battle. I'm really not doing well. I'm really fighting.

How do you refill your glass? When? What is your favorite tool for refills? 

Being Sick & Tolerance

Both me and my 6 year old son ended up sick 2 days ago. We went to the doctor yesterday and tested positive for the flu. Our symptoms were cough, stuffy nose (me), phlem (him), fever, headache, severe body aches (me), exhaustion. This is the upper respiratory flu, not the puking your guts out kind.

So they gave us tamiflu.
Our son did ok, but he hated the taste.
I threw up. Twice.
Thanks tamiflu. Because the only thing I was missing being sicker than I ever remember being in my entire life is the puking. And I got to do that TWICE. Not the liquidy kind, nope, it was as if i chewed my food, swallowed, and regurgitated it on the spot. Even though it was hours later.

Being sick is intolerable, no matter who you are. But I discovered that all those things that sometimes drive me crazy drive me crazy on a constant basis when I'm sick. The random numb spot on my rib that I get when I'm pregnant? Intolerable. Dirty dishes piling up in the kitchen? Intoerable. Not being able to do the laundry? Intolerable. The only thing I didn't care about missing was being online. :P And I was on my phone enough to check messages and notifications. :P Cheating, maybe? 

Intolerable. Thank God it only lasted about 2-3 days in the intolerable state. Now its my poor hubby's turn I guess. :( Poor guy. He has enough stress about work and money as it is, now the machine is broke down. At least we know its only a couple days, and I got him Brody's bed all set up so that he has his own space and a comfortable bed instead of the couch where he has been camped out.

Being sick is intolerable. But I'm glad it was not the stomach flu (with the exception of the tamiflu incident!).

Feeling Sick, Sensitivities, Feelings

Now, I know this is probably the only place I haven't made this announcement: I'm pregnant.

With my son, I consider the pregnancy the most perfect pregnancy ever. I wasn't sick, I felt great the entire time, and everything was perfect, just the way I imagined it to be.

And as the years went by (my son will be 6 the end of the month), I kept saying to myself I would probably pay with any other pregnancies. Especially if I actually got my girl, which is what I do want (and honestly, I already feel like it IS a girl). My mom was sick with me and my sister, but not so much with my brother, so I figured that was a sign.

This pregnancy, I am about 6 weeks in, and I am not feeling good. I wouldn't describe it as the nightmare of morning sickness with vomiting that everyone seems to have, but its a naggy, icky stomach. 

I don't know if this is the same for people with Aspergers or not, but I am a miserable sick person. It really makes no difference if I am throwing up, or if I just have an upset stomach, I probably react about the same. It is disabling. Everything bothers me. I am more cranky, I am hungry, but don't know what to eat (or what I should or can eat).... This isn't just from this pregnancy, I get motion sickness/car sickness, and this feels just about the same as that, and that makes me feel the same: cranky, hungry but don't know what to eat, and almost disabling. I can't do chores, I can't function normally as I would. I haven't done any homework with my son all week, and I feel bad; I really haven't done much with him at all. He is so great, independent, tolerates me just sitting there saying "yeah, ok, yeah, ok...". I felt much better yesterday, but today I am back to a bit sensitive stomach again. I'm pretty much down to cereal, bread with cheese, tortilla with cheese, applesauce/apples, yogurt (a recent discovery), fortune cookies... you know, bland food. 

I am simply a miserable sick person! It is like my physical symptoms of illness turns my head off as well. I am not interested in doing a whole lot of anything, and I'd like to sleep, but I don't really want to sleep all day leaving my son all alone all day long, that just isn't fair. So I just kinda mope around here.

I really hope that this is not going to last long. I mean, even if it lasts 3 months, that really isn't long, but it seems like an eternity on this side. 6 more weeks? Really? What am I going to do to function for 6 more weeks?

I think a part of it is sleep too. The night before last I got a TON of sleep, for whatever reason we went to bed around 8:30. So maybe its all sleep related, and maybe if I did allow myself a little nap, I would feel better. But I just haven't been able to do it.

As if my senses weren't already magnified, now they are even more so. Smell was not my friend with the pregnancy of my son, so I am not surprised that it isn't this time either.

Anyway, maybe I'm just complaning. Or maybe there are some other Aspiegirls out there who have had similar pregnancy experiences with the misery of what really shouldn't be miserable at all. Am I alone here? I think not...

Frustrating Times

Lots of stuff going on lately. I haven't had time to post, and I shouldn't be posting now because it's so late.

I am having to working 6 days this week.
Well, 5 1/2 because yesterday (sunday) I left at lunch to go home and paint the living room. Which is another issue.

Things have been stressful. We've been planning this painting for a long time and it's good to have it all done. We still have a lot of work to do on the trim and stuff but the major job is finished. Some really great friends drove 2 hrs one way with their 4 kids to come up and help us! (You don't know who you're true friends are until you need help!)

Well we slept in the house last night and everything seemed fine. Though today I'm not so sure they are. B ended up sick this afternoon/night. With what he has been able to describe and based on his odd behavior otherwise and lack of fever or whatnot, I think there is a paint inhalation issue. So we just escaped to my inlaws house for fresh air to hope that helps!

But between the stress of that job, the house being torn apart with stuff everywhere, and knowing I have to work 6 days in a row, and likely next week too.... I am a bit stressed and I think that is rubbing off on B. there have been times he has been sick before where excitement or anxiety has seemed to be the only reason he was sick. High strung maybe. It's a family trait. Lol.

So I'm hoping that it doesn't happen anymore. The poor kid. And the poor mama racking my brain trying to figure out what the problem might be, what to do, if a trip to the ER 45+ minutes away is worth it or necessary... I guess we will see.

I'm going to be so exhausted when this week is over. Come to think of it I'm already exhausted and I'm only at day 2.