The Strawberry Dress

I am a purger. If I have no use for something, or if I haven't used it over a certain period of time, it goes. I do not normally have or make emotional connections to objects like knick knacks and those kinds of things. I do not desire my house to be akin to a storage unit. I like to have space, open space, and clean space. It is quite often that I clean like a pregnant woman, clearing out entire closets, vacuuming them out, and getting rid of those "back in the far corner" type objects. 

There are few things in my life that I keep around for "no reason". One is my doll from when I was a child. It used to have a cord that you pulled and it would say "mommy" or something like that. I remember clearly the day I was supposed to be napping and the string broke, no more "mommy". I know where it is right this minute and could get my hands on it within 5 if I wanted to.

The other is a box of papers and memory book type things that mom always collected for us. Right now, it drives me absolutely nuts that I can't remember or find it. With that box has to be my baby blanket. That blanket and me go way back, probably a gift when I was born. It had some holes in it that apparently were from it being set on the heater or something ? Someone tried to patch them but the material didnt hold up so there were always just holes. That blanket, I'm sure, was still around when I was in college, but I lost track of it around the time I got married. I am on a mission that this spring as soon as it warms up I am going to go over to my parents, 6 months pregnant, and look for that stuff because it HAS to be SOMEWHERE.

Sadly, there is one other item that I remember and loved, and to this day I have no idea where it went or what happened to it. I think my mother had something to do with it and I have a vague feeling it has something to do with the post office building in Gheen. We had a garage sale there once. Either way, this item was a strawberry dress.

This wasn't an ordinary strawberry dress. This was a beautiful, flowy, silky strawberry dress. There was nothing about it that I recall being uncomfortable. When I outgrew it, I used it on one of my baby dolls. But what happened to it after that I just don't know. I hadn't thought about it in a long time, until yesterday, I was looking through a children's clothes page and ran across a 12 month little girl's strawberry dress. Though it did not resemble my strawberry dress in any way except the strawberries, I instantly was brought back in time to my strawberry dress, and when it warms up and this lady goes looking for it, I hope she finds it because I am TOTALLY buying it! (I hope this baby is a girl!)

As I said, I'm a purger, and I really honestly do not keep a lot of things. Even with my son, many of the things that I kept, I sorted through several times over the years and got rid of more of them so it was a more "sensible, manageable" amount.

But it drives me crazy when the FEW items that I DO love and cherish go missing. There are SO FEW THINGS that matter that much to me. And to have 3 of the 4 things I can think of off the top of my head be missing drives me absolutely nuts. And worse, knowing they are in someone else's stash of 25-plus years of stuff stored up is worse because not only do I have to look for my stuff, but I have to look thru the other stuff too.. It is going to be quite a project. I should get paid. :P

It got me to thinking too, about why that strawberry dress was my favorite. What about it was so special? I don't remember who gave it to me or where it came from. So that can't be it. It wasn't something I wore for any special occassions that I can remember. But I do remember that it was the best dress for comfort. It was so comfortable. Long before there were kids with sensory issues, I knew what felt good on me. I knew that there was something particularly special about that dress. And I knew that I wanted all my clothes to feel like that. Though I don't remember connecting clothing to discomfort, or having fits over certain clothing, I knew that the strawberry dress was probably the most comfortable thing I ever owned, and I wanted one in every size I would ever need to wear. 

I'm not alone in this. My Aspie Wife just wrote about this recently about his family too, in My Touchy Feely Aspie Family. A great post! There is something about Asperger's/Autism and our sense of touch. Some people crave being touched by others, some people can't stand it, some people cannot stand the touch of certain materials/things on their bodies, some people have to only have certain materials. This isn't just a sensory issue, but it can be a personal issue too because in friendships there's hugging and other physical contact, and in adult relationships there's more of that, and in marriages there's the need for physical affection, at least in a NT person. Sometimes it can really affect a marriage if one person can't stand physical touch. Luckily, I enjoy that connection and touch, so I'm ok, but others "put themselves through the motions" to please their spouse, but it does affect their relationship. 

That strawberry dress will probably be something I think about when I'm 90. I wish I had even a picture of me in it, but so far I have never run across one. As much as I had to have worn that dress, you would think there would easily be a photo, but I have never seen one. (Maybe mom can help me out here?) There was something special about that dress, and seeing another dress with strawberries on it got me thinking about it again. I want one in my size again!