Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Arrivals! A Birth Story!

Our little baby girl, Bonnie Elise, came into the world in a hurry at 8:45 PM Friday June 21, after only about 3 hours of real labor! She is beautiful! They didn't weigh her until the middle of the night and she weighed 8 lb 6 oz! Her brother was only 7 lb 2 oz! She is 20 inches long.

She is a fantastic baby! With my son, I ended up with some kind of relaxer drug, and I think we both suffered because of that - we were both very tired and out of it. Though it was also 2 am, so I was exhausted on top of not eating since lunchtime. With my son, I still only had 7 1/2 hours of real labor. This one was much better, and faster obviously!

We went in for the appointment, and I told the doctor we were all there (hubby and son) because we fully expected not to go home. I had been having "tightening" contractions, but nothing regular or painful at all. She sent me upstairs to monitor and see what was happening. I was at 5 cms in her office. Went upstairs, and after an hour or so up there, I was at 6, and having contractions but nothing with a pattern or even much pain. Very slight cramping I would say.

So they admitted me, sending me across the hall to the nice birth suites. Since I wasn't really in active labor, she let me eat! I ordered some scrambled eggs, toast, potatoes and yogurt. I didn't eat a lot, but it was so nice to get something to eat beforehand! Totally different from my son! I also got some alone time since the boys went to Pizza Ranch to eat. So that was nice. The couple nurses in the room set things out for the delivery and whatnot. It was really relaxing and pleasant!

Probably an hour later I started having cramping with the contractions that I had to bend over for. They weren't horrible yet, but I sure felt them, and leaning over forward was really helpful. My friend who was coming as labor support/doula arrived and no one could believe that I was having these contractions and talking or smiling through them!

I got in the tub (with jets!) and relaxed in there a while. The contractions started coming a bit better in there, where I had to close my eyes. My son had come in and wanted to take a bath in the jets himself, but I told him he had to wait, and when I closed my eyes that he had to quiet and wait until I was done. I was impressed by how long they were lasting.

I wasn't in the bath long (I really am not that big of a fan of baths). So I got out. I think things moved on rather quickly then, but I didn't know how quickly they would move! I found that being leaned up against the back of the bed (which was leaned up) was the most comfortable, but unfortunately for the nurses, they were unable to get the monitor on baby in that position. (Ha, ha too bad!) That is always annoying that they have to do that so often, but they were probably more anxious about it because they had trouble finding her in there to get her heart rate monitored. She was being shy (probably because she was almost out! LOL)

A couple made me feel like throwing up, so I asked for something, and my poor hubby had the thing near him. When I threw up, he decided that it was time to go, and him and Brody left the room, thinking it would maybe be an hour or so before it was done.

They must have decided to call the doc because the contractions were so close together. She came in and though it was extremely uncomfortable, she checked and said "ok, you're at a 9!" and LEFT THE ROOM! LOL. I immediately turned back over and said I felt I had to "go to the bathroom".... to which the nurse had to run out of the room, leaving my friend and me the only ones in the room for a moment or two! At some point I felt her come on down, the water broke, and her head was crowning! Holy cow, did NOT expect that! They don't like you pushing without the doctor in the room, but I was surely not pushing. I could not stop it, as if you could stop throwing up. So she chilled there a minute or so while I hoo-hoo-hee-hee-ed through one contraction. That didn't do any good though for the next one, her head just came on out. I'm sure the doctor must have come in at that point and wanted me turned over, so they all got me on my side and pretty much got the shoulders out and PRESTO, all done. Three hours or so. That was it. And I don't feel like I did any of the work. It was almost like she said "You know what, enough of this womb stuff, I'm OUTTA here!". Cuz that's just what she did.

I had my labor support friend go get the boys, and hubby was shocked that it was already time! They both came in and it was so precious! My son wanted to cut the cord, but I think the doctor probably forgot in the hustle and bustle of how fast it happened! I got her on me, and started trying to nurse and get her latched on, and stuff like that. She was alert and open eyed, and just so precious! Everything turned out wonderful after that. She nursed pretty steady on and off for the next 3 hours with wide eyes and such interest! She just couldn't wait another moment and soaked it all up! She was wonderful! 

Anyway, so that's that! We were going to leave the next night after the blood draw for testing, but it turned out she was jaundice and had to stay for more blood draw the next morning, and the guys went home the 2nd night because that was just not going to be good to have to stay another night in the hospital. My son was so ready to be out of there. Just too boring. So that was hard for me to be alone and sad because we looked forward to going home. But it was probably ok.

I did feel pretty weird the first night I was home and I got concerned. I just felt a bit overwhelmed, as if how am I going to do this, mom to this new baby, and my intense 6 year old, and take care of the house and bills and money  ...... and you know what? I just have to keep telling myself to take a break! I just had a baby for crying out loud! I need sleep, rest, a vacation, a babymoon! I need to sleep when I need to sleep, and ask for help. I need to sit in the chair and not worry about cleaning up things or putting things away. I need to not worry about that long to do list I always have going for myself. I need to remember that those things are NOT as important. If we are washing dirty dishes to use for the meal we are having, fine, we wash them then. It is ok!

I'm grateful for my husband, he has really been doing so great. He has done cleaning and chores and stuff, and really been there for me, even though he has to work. No babymoon/leave for him! He feels really bad, but he is doing what he can, and its really helpful! So that is helpful too knowing that I am ok to just chill out and things are indeed still getting done. 

So I'm feeling better today, its the best day so far! We got into routine for bedtime last night with our son, so that was probably helpful. I felt pretty good after that. It feels good to get back into routine, so that some sense of normalcy is back. :) So things are looking up! I still am keeping out on how I'm feeling and making sure I don't end up with any depression issues. I talked to the doctor yesterday when we were in for the jaundice test again, and she said when we come back tomorrow we could do a progesterone shot if I still didn't feel that great. I might not need it now! But it is nice to know there are other options before throwing the towel out at the "ok, well, you're depressed, heres antidepressants". Those are not something I'm interested in having to take. I will if I feel bad like I did, but it doesn't make me feel good. So I will be glad if I'm over the hump.

I'm sure there will be bad days and tired days, but I just have to be more aware of my needs for rest and a break. I can't expect myself to be this "perfect" person with a "perfectly clean house" and everything always perfect. Aspergers has meant that I always did everything perfectly and kept it wonderful all the time. But I gotta let it go. I can change, even when I don't want to or don't like it. So this is probably all a good thing. Things will sort themselves out. It will all be ok. I have to use my time more wisely as well, making sure I don't sit on the computer all the time because that will make me feel worse, not just because of the guilt but because I can spend so much time that I end up not doing things that need to be done, like rest! So I'm working on changing. Change is not something Aspergers is friendly to. But I think I am going to be doing a lot of it!

That's enough. What a long post! Back to life! Sorry if I dont post frequently, but I will check in now and then. :)

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