Friday, March 28, 2014

Max. Heartbreaking. Story of my life.
This is a show on television. It is written and acted out. So people can easily assume that it is maybe sorta based on real life, but mostly fictional.

I'm here to tell you that nothing about how Max has been treated is fictional. These things happen. Probably every single day somewhere there is a kid being bullied like this. And its even more likely if that kid is on the spectrum.
I tend to be trusting of people. This characteristic gets me into some pretty interesting situations. You would think that trusting people would be rewarded with honest and kind friendships and people who trust me as much as I trust them. So far, I haven't found that to be the case very often.

When I was in school, I didn't even know I had Aspergers. I don't even remember it being on my radar. It wasn't talked about in the news as some 'epidemic'. No one talked about it and no one seemed to have been diagnosed with it (though I have noticed there are so many adults being diagnosed as adults, and I know there are a huge percentage that aren't and won't be diagnosed). 

When I was in school, those were MY FEELINGS.
If I'm so smart, why don't I know why they are laughing at me? Why don't I know why they are picking on me? Why me? What, is there a kick me sign on my back? 


Which, I suppose, makes them not nice kids doesn't it. They thought because they weren't druggies getting suspended or detention that they were the good kids. They thought that because they were getting good grades, or on the sports team, that they were the good kids. I'm here to tell you that there are fewer good kids than it appears. The good kids are overrated, because they can be just as mean and bully just as well as anybody else. Only its worse because I trusted them. I trusted that they WEREN'T the ones teasing me. I thought that they were the ones who might defend me or even stand up for me when things happened. I was shocked to see them actually joining the bullying instead of sticking up for me. And I was heartbroken. Every time I was left confused and wondering what was happening, and how it was happening. Weren't they supposed to be the nice kids? Aren't the nice kids supposed to step in or something when I need help? That's what makes them nice kids right?

These are the kids who got credit for a peer helpers group that really didn't exist (it was something to write on a college application and something to get out of class to be in the yearbook photo for). These kids got awards and scholarships based on their "service in the community", when really that mean they played sports and entertained us 4 times a week. 

Kids cannot really be held responsible, can they? What kid would actually step into a group of angry teenagers beating on (physically or mentally) another student? What kid can actually be expected to be brave enough to put themselves and their reputation on the line for the loser? It might be social suicide I suppose. And it's scary. That means putting yourself physically on the line for someone else. What if they turn on you instead? What if they beat you up, or reject you? Then what? Then you're stuck alone and rejected too. 

It's terribly sad. And teachers can't be everywhere every second either. 

I don't have any solutions unfortunately. I don't really know anyone who does. Even homeschooling you are going to eventually meet that person who uses you and tosses you like a piece of trash. I guess that maybe if you have a strong family backing you up, maybe it doesn't hurt so bad. But not a lot of kids have that either.

Point is, things like what happened to Max, and his resulting feelings and hurts, those are real. I felt my own pain as real as if it were happening as I watched that scene. It was beautiful and raw, and so realistic. It was all that it should be. Every school should be showing that kind of story as some kind of life skills class or something. Every student should see the results of their actions. I don't think it would cut deep enough though, just showing one little show/episode/scene. But something needs to happen. I just don't know what. 

This is what we with Aspergers face. And if you think it stops at graduation, you're wrong. I've encountered this kind of thing in every college I've been at (3), and as an adult I've seen it more times than I can believe. It's frustrating. Unlike kids, adults should know better and have a better control over their actions or reactions. Adults should be able to stop themselves and realize that what they are doing is wrong. But sadly, there are plenty who don't. 

Monday, March 24, 2014

Another Referral on Parenthoods "The Offer"

Thank you for this post as well. Referring:

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Max Braverman. Aspergers. Parenthood.

I want to write a lot about this. I want to post the specific video for the scene. And I have so much to say.

Right now, I will post a link to a post already written. It was pretty good. When I get the chance, I will find the video, or take one myself, and write about it. I have a lot to say about this.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014


I'm hoping I have some followers out there who know something about meltdowns. And not just in adults, meltdowns in aspie kids. 

I'm talking about those meltdowns that are unavoidable for some reason.
Those meltdowns that stem from things like being told to do a chore or errand, hearing no to the answer to a question, and from overexcitement from having visitors. 

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

The Unexpected

I've posted about this before, I think. There is a very large enemy in our midst. And that ememy is The Unexpected.

The Unexpected is rude, interrupting, and has a knack for knowing what one wants, and taking it away, twisting it, and making it impossible to do that.

The Unexpected overwhelms, exhausts, and triggers a meltdown that is uncontrollable and stressful. 

The Unexpected ruins beautiful sunny days, vacations, dinners, and peaceful chores or errands.

The Unexpected turns love into hate and cooperation into strong and defiant resistance.

I hate The Unexpected.

But you may be surprised how I hate it, not on my account, but on account of my son. He is losing it. He is nearing the 7 1/2 time period. Someone wise once told me that the half a year age is terribly difficult. Sadly, if this is just the beginning of the climb to a half a year (which would actually be in May) then we have a terrible, long, frustrating spring coming. 

Monday, March 3, 2014

Views! Aspergers Rules!

I've had over 10,000 views! 
That is pretty awesome! Quite different from other blogs I've attempted, I never kept at them, or ran out of things to say. 

So thank you, viewers, for stopping in here and checking out my little blog. I'm glad I can be of help to you whether you are also an aspie, or just interested in learning about them.

I have to say I may not be here writing without a few of my new aspie internet friends. Please, if you haven't already, check out their blogs as well. Here are the links:

Having Your Head Shoved Under Water

Yesterday we went into town to add a line to our cell phone plan for a family member (NOT a child). That was all we intended to do. We had to check on an issue with my phone not working in the same said town, and we thought we would ask about these new "plans" our company offers because it is said they are so much cheaper than our current plans. 

Be very, very careful walking into the phone retailers these days.

Before I even knew what was happening, we were getting Iphone 5s. Seriously, before I even knew what was happening. I was still trying to wrap my mind around what happened 3 hours later when we were on our way home. 

What happened was this: You aren't on a contract anymore, and you pay for your phone in installments, which are added to your cell phone bill. You do indeed pay less for your plan (apparently), but its the fact that the cell phone is figured into that rate that makes that happen. Without that, you pay "more". 

Hindsight: We don't EVER buy the newest version of anything. We have never spent more than .99 on any of our phones previous to this. And we aren't paying 600$ for a phone, not all at once anyway. But when all is said and done, we are going to be. And because of that I feel as if I've been completely taken in.

This girl, whoever she was, was GOOD at what she does. I'll bet she's a top earner in her position, probably on the fast track to management or something. She had us running laps with broken legs. 

It worked out okay I suppose. I don't think that we will be in trouble with out bill, I think it is pretty similar to what we were paying, even with the phone. And we do get the 100$ credit for adding a line. But it makes me feel frustrated, because I had someone basically walk up to me, shove my head under the water, and hold it there for a good 3 or 4 hours. By the time I came up for air, it was too late. I realize now that this push to give you this "inexpensive" phone plan system is a way to ensure that people get the latest and greatest cost phones, at the benefit of the company alone, not the customer. DUH. Apparently, too many people were doing what we were doing: buying the older version of the phone for .99 and not buying the newest phone for 600$. 

I don't blame the company, I understand they are there to make money, and I do like that I am paying less per month and we have 3.3 X as much data as we used to and unlimited talk to anybody, which we didn't have before (we had 550 minutes or something). So we are getting more for less, as far as the plan is concerned. But it comes at the price of 1200$ for 2 brand new phones. The "good news" is that I am planning on sitting on these new phones for quite a while. Hopefully they will last that long. Next time we will try to do what we had been doing; buying previous versions and using them or something. Hopefully they won't take away the option to buy older versions. 

The result of all this is the feeling of completely overwhelmed mind. My head was spinning. I couldn't decide what to eat for dinner. I couldn't keep up with my mile-a-minute talking son. I couldn't keep up with my daughter. Without help, I may have very well have lost the phone somewhere because I would have forgotten it somewhere. Or I would have forgotten something else because of it. My mind was completely consumed. You know sometimes on a computer how you cannot open any other programs or applications while it is doing certain things? That's my brain. I could not load any other thought processes because I was still trying to process what happened with our phones. 

This morning I feel better, but last night I was completely exhausted. This can't happen again. I should have told her to walk away for a minute that one time I thought about it. I should have told her to just back off a minute and let us talk about it. Wow. I can't believe it.