Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Autism, Pregnancy, Thoughts

I know, I know, I said I was going to work on posting more, and then I didn't post at all for a long time again!

I guess I've just been busy, tired, sore, and most of my brain power is taken up with preparing for this baby!

I'm a pretty introverted person to begin with but I think under times like this I get even more introverted, and I just have to cave in on myself, instead of being able to think outwardly.

I wish I could say I've thought of something constructive to write, but I really haven't in a long time! 

I did have a thought with myself about how my pregnancies and labors progress. I know that I am rather lucky in comparison to most because I feel I have been blessed with these super short labors that I consider to be pretty easy.

This time around, I'm left wondering if I just didn't notice all these little things or if they are just simply worse this time around. I'm more sore, most of which is probably due to just poor muscles and stuff. But also the Braxton Hicks are "worse" this time too.

Which got me to thinking, because I have these "tightenings" so long before my labors, and because this time they are so much more uncomfortable than I remember, could this mean I have some sort of variation of "puttering" into labor? I mean, really, I get more than half the work done by just having this repeated tightening thing happening without much pain. It just gets tight. It does it for months ahead, but it seems like this time and as time goes on they do get more uncomfortable. It's probably worse that I don't have much that fits me, so tight waistbands pressing on my lower abdomen doesn't feel good at all! 

So I just wonder. At what point, for me, do BH turn into a "puttering" version of labor? I guess I might never have the answer.

But I also then plug that idea into the one I already carry; that people with autism perceive pain differently. Though there's no hard and fast rule about that specifically, it works both directions: for some the pain is worse than normal, and for others it is less than normal. I definitely lean to the less is normal side. I wonder about other things too, like cavities (I haven't ever remembered having pain even though I'd been told I have a cavity), or whatever. Though I haven't been significantly injured in my life (no broken bones or anything), things like being in labor doesn't bother me as much as most people I know or have heard talk about it. Though I know that there are more things that play into that other than autism (like fear, misunderstanding a process or whatever), I still feel that something about my autism lets me feel less pain or discomfort, especially when I have a good reason for the pain like I do in labor!

When I had the mirena, I had these periods of terrible, stabbing pain. Maybe because there was an unknown (why is this during like this!), maybe it was because there didn't seem to be any purpose behind it, but these pains were worse than labor! Gladly they only lasted and hour, and ended up being because of cysts, which the body normally produces during a cycle but on BC can develop much larger than normal or burst causing a lot of pain!. 
But they were terrible. 
While my labors and deliveries I wouldn't quite view as that much. I mean, the perspective is different, pain from something "wrong" VS pain for a purpose, but I wonder if there isn't something more to the story that no one has really realized yet or something. Is there something about autism that specifically changes your perception of pain, either for good or for bad? 

So anyway.

This baby is due any time in the next few weeks, so I'm just taking it easy. I will have more to say perhaps about adding a third kid, an the fact that it was never in the plan, but this is how we are adjusting to it or something like that, eventually. But I may be quiet for a while, so I appreciate your follows anyway, and know that after we all readjust and life gets more manageable again, I will try to get focused on talking about more specific autism things again.