Thursday, September 8, 2016

Overwhelmed Again

Those days where nothing seems to get done, where everyone seems to want a share of you, when everything seems too hard to do, when there's so much to do and you can't even start doing it, much less finish ....
It drives me crazy to be interrupted over and over and over...
I have to recollect my thoughts, figure out where I was, start over again....

I had one of those nights the other night.

It was completely overwhelming.

Little B has been sick. After almost two weeks of this I've figured out (on my own) what it is. She gets cold sore breakouts. REALLY BAD ones. This time she also developed a massive one on her thumb, herpetic whitlow.

Apparently it can commonly be mistaken as hand/foot/mouth, and that appears to be the case with her doctor telling us multiple times, every time we've been in since they started. Thinking back, they started when she was eating solid foods, which she didn't eat much of until after 12-14 months old. (Her tongue tie prevented her from being able to eat much because she gagged on everything. she was still gagging on bananas at a year old. Don't get me started on the medical profession missing that mess...)

We thought they were a reaction to tomato, like her brother used to have. Anywhere ketchup would touch his skin, he would break out. It did go away but he still prefers not to have tomato if he can help it.

Either way, she was so little when this started. And I know she would get some on her fingers as well, which probably only reaffirmed the diagnosis of hand/foot/mouth. I KNEW all along that was not the answer. They really didn't seem to think past h/f/m, so I doubted myself, and didn't know what to do about the fact that she repeatedly got it, over and over, and no one else in the house did. I mean, isn't h/f/m highly contagious? Wouldn't someone else have come down with something at some point over the past two years besides her?

So, sadly this seems to be how it works every time. She gets sick, and throws up for around 24 hours. This last time it was only twice, and she hadn't really had much to eat so it wasn't a lot of throwing up. Sometimes its been really bad, we've had her in worrying about dehydration and she finally comes around. Then the sores break out. It's at least 2 weeks of sores coming, healing, and vanishing. Sometimes it seemed like she was getting them over and over, one right on top of the other. Right now her lips are looking good finally, and her thumb popped (it was quite full of liquid and very swollen, so it either popped or she bit it...). She seems to be getting a new sore up her thumb a little bit, but I hope that we can keep that one under control under the bandaid that is protecting her thumb because it broke open. I'm really hoping she didn't bite it open because that probably means we have another round of mouth sores coming on. Yes, her whole mouth gets sores in it too, which means she won't eat much either. This time I got wise and got her soup, yogurt, pudding, cottage cheese, soft foods, even ice cream for shakes. I think the shakes are probably great because they're cold too.

Anyway. I had to find this out on my own. I had to google several different times slightly different description and read a post from an ER employee on thinking it was MRSA before I came up with this herpetic whitlow. WHY? I wonder. It is so frustrating to me.

I mean, if you have a patient that has been in multiple times because of this same issue, no other members of the family have come down with it, and its only ever one finger really, and it's a repetitive one right on top of the other..... Wouldn't you start looking at other options? Wouldn't you start questioning your own thinking? I know I would! After all, I DID, after two years of being told it was one thing, I'm finally convinced that it is something else, and it is at least related to what I originally thought it was - cold sores.

Cold sores are so weird. My mom and sister get them. My dad and I do not. (I can't remember about my brother). My husband gets them. Big B does not. Little B does. Jury is still out on Baby J. I'm hoping he is immune because one little with these painful things is enough. I don't know if I could handle round two, especially on a 7 month old! That would be too much. But when he is over a year, starts solids more, and we start to see....? I don't know.

I know about the antivirals for them. My mom takes one kind, my hubby takes another. I don't know if they can give that to kids so young. I should google that since I get more answers from google than the doctor. I really should move to another doctor, we've been really considering it, moving to the clinic closer to home. 

Anyway.

So I've been completely overwhelmed with that, then trying to do other things...

And the washer flooded the laundry room. We had to buy a new set. It was literally busted, the drum had cracked. Not really a fix for that. HA! Glad it was Labor Day sales, we got quite a good deal on a really nice new set, computery and lights and sounds and yay! :) I'm really happy with the size, its like 1.9 cu ft bigger than the one we had before, so that's great, and NO agitator.

SO there's that.

And the not working. This whole owning a truck thing isn't as quick, easy and painless as you would think.

I'm just....

One domino away from everything falling down.

Or one melatonin. Little B took like 2/3 a bottle tonight. Thank God for poison control (literally), they say there should be no harm or worries. I don't know how she is still awake, its been more than a half hour too... I'm so tired of being overwhelmed by her obsession with putting things in her mouth, playing in my bathroom in general, stuff like that. It's like dealing with a dementia patient. :(

So, I was (am) overwhelmed and completely exhausted and who wouldn't fall asleep? The two littles. Go figure. Man it took me a long time to get them to sleep, and then me getting to sleep. :(

It is the worst feeling. At least now in this part of my life I can recognize overwhelm. But dealing with it? Not so good at that. I get angry, short tempered, yelly, the whole list. No patience at all.

Anyone else? WHAT to do? HOW to deal? 

Thursday, September 1, 2016

Off The Charts

I'm not a researcher, but I tend to make judgements based on things I do know or experience. I make decisions about things based on my experience or knowledge too. I mean, I think we all do, don't we?

Anyway, moving on....

Boy had his testing last night. He's supposedly entering the 3rd grade. The curriculum we're using is 3-4. His testing is practically off the charts. lowest grade level is in math; 4th grade. That is something that is specific, and taught in order, so he's basically learned it as we've taught it. He understands higher principles, but we have no worked on them so he hasn't been able to make it "click" yet. Highest score was spelling and reading at a 8th grade level.


I was one of those kids too when I was in school. I started reading about the same time as my kid did (3 years old) and went into school already knowing what they were teaching (at the time). So I was "bored", but ended up finding my "calling" of sorts, being teacher's pet (a title they tortured me with for years then refused to recognize me as it senior year in the yearbook superlatives or whatever...). I graded papers for teachers for years, for so long, actually, that I forget when that actually ended. Probably high school or jr high when they just didn't do that anymore, or it was part of the class work to switch papers and correct them.... I dunno. In high school I practically lived in the band room, it was my escape, my hiding place, my home. Not often to practice music either because I was far exceeding what we were doing in there too. The music wasn't that hard, really, and we didn't actually get blessed with learning anything because the other kids wouldn't listen. :(

Anyway, my thinking is this. If I had sent this boy to school, I can bet you that he would not act the way I did. I'm betting he would start goofing off and getting into trouble. His boredom would lead to troublemaking. His troublemaking would lead to him having repeated negative interactions with staff, which would eventually lead to what he already has a problem with; feeling bad about himself and being an angry kid (sometimes he does feel this way because his perfectionism is as deep as mine....). Pair that with the "Lord of the Flies" hierarchy of high school, and you've got yourself a major problem. 

Is this a typical thing for advanced girls vs boys? The boys would end up being bored and getting into trouble and the girls would try to be "teachers" too? Or find some other acceptable escape?

All I can say is I am very grateful for homeschooling. We can blast threw some things or skip some things that he's advanced at, and just edit for what he needs. So far, I haven't been good at doing this. But I can finally say, after two years of this homeschool thing under my belt, I'm finally flexible enough to edit. :P

So what I was getting at in the beginning of this post was this is a form of personal research. ;) :P Let me know! Were you ahead? Behind? Average? What are your experiences? What have you read?

Off The Charts

I'm not a researcher, but I tend to make judgements based on things I do know or experience. I make decisions about things based on my experience or knowledge too. I mean, I think we all do, don't we?

Anyway, moving on....

Boy had his testing last night. He's supposedly entering the 3rd grade. The curriculum we're using is 3-4. His testing is practically off the charts. lowest grade level is in math; 4th grade. That is something that is specific, and taught in order, so he's basically learned it as we've taught it. He understands higher principles, but we have no worked on them so he hasn't been able to make it "click" yet. Highest score was spelling and reading at a 8th grade level.


I was one of those kids too when I was in school. I started reading about the same time as my kid did (3 years old) and went into school already knowing what they were teaching (at the time). So I was "bored", but ended up finding my "calling" of sorts, being teacher's pet (a title they tortured me with for years then refused to recognize me as it senior year in the yearbook superlatives or whatever...). I graded papers for teachers for years, for so long, actually, that I forget when that actually ended. Probably high school or jr high when they just didn't do that anymore, or it was part of the class work to switch papers and correct them.... I dunno. In high school I practically lived in the band room, it was my escape, my hiding place, my home. Not often to practice music either because I was far exceeding what we were doing in there too. The music wasn't that hard, really, and we didn't actually get blessed with learning anything because the other kids wouldn't listen. :(

Anyway, my thinking is this. If I had sent this boy to school, I can bet you that he would not act the way I did. I'm betting he would start goofing off and getting into trouble. His boredom would lead to troublemaking. His troublemaking would lead to him having repeated negative interactions with staff, which would eventually lead to what he already has a problem with; feeling bad about himself and being an angry kid (sometimes he does feel this way because his perfectionism is as deep as mine....). Pair that with the "Lord of the Flies" hierarchy of high school, and you've got yourself a major problem. 

Is this a typical thing for advanced girls vs boys? The boys would end up being bored and getting into trouble and the girls would try to be "teachers" too? Or find some other acceptable escape?

All I can say is I am very grateful for homeschooling. We can blast threw some things or skip some things that he's advanced at, and just edit for what he needs. So far, I haven't been good at doing this. But I can finally say, after two years of this homeschool thing under my belt, I'm finally flexible enough to edit. :P

So what I was getting at in the beginning of this post was this is a form of personal research. ;) :P Let me know! Were you ahead? Behind? Average? What are your experiences? What have you read?

Off The Charts

I'm not a researcher, but I tend to make judgements based on things I do know or experience. I make decisions about things based on my experience or knowledge too. I mean, I think we all do, don't we?

Anyway, moving on....

Boy had his testing last night. He's supposedly entering the 3rd grade. The curriculum we're using is 3-4. His testing is practically off the charts. lowest grade level is in math; 4th grade. That is something that is specific, and taught in order, so he's basically learned it as we've taught it. He understands higher principles, but we have no worked on them so he hasn't been able to make it "click" yet. Highest score was spelling and reading at a 8th grade level.


I was one of those kids too when I was in school. I started reading about the same time as my kid did (3 years old) and went into school already knowing what they were teaching (at the time). So I was "bored", but ended up finding my "calling" of sorts, being teacher's pet (a title they tortured me with for years then refused to recognize me as it senior year in the yearbook superlatives or whatever...). I graded papers for teachers for years, for so long, actually, that I forget when that actually ended. Probably high school or jr high when they just didn't do that anymore, or it was part of the class work to switch papers and correct them.... I dunno. In high school I practically lived in the band room, it was my escape, my hiding place, my home. Not often to practice music either because I was far exceeding what we were doing in there too. The music wasn't that hard, really, and we didn't actually get blessed with learning anything because the other kids wouldn't listen. :(

Anyway, my thinking is this. If I had sent this boy to school, I can bet you that he would not act the way I did. I'm betting he would start goofing off and getting into trouble. His boredom would lead to troublemaking. His troublemaking would lead to him having repeated negative interactions with staff, which would eventually lead to what he already has a problem with; feeling bad about himself and being an angry kid (sometimes he does feel this way because his perfectionism is as deep as mine....). Pair that with the "Lord of the Flies" hierarchy of high school, and you've got yourself a major problem. 

Is this a typical thing for advanced girls vs boys? The boys would end up being bored and getting into trouble and the girls would try to be "teachers" too? Or find some other acceptable escape?

All I can say is I am very grateful for homeschooling. We can blast threw some things or skip some things that he's advanced at, and just edit for what he needs. So far, I haven't been good at doing this. But I can finally say, after two years of this homeschool thing under my belt, I'm finally flexible enough to edit. :P

So what I was getting at in the beginning of this post was this is a form of personal research. ;) :P Let me know! Were you ahead? Behind? Average? What are your experiences? What have you read?

Saturday, August 27, 2016

Starstruck

I don't know if it's just me, or if many aspies feel this way, but I get starstruck over people who were or are supposedly "cool".

My husband had his class reunion this weekend. it was a small class, so it's no big party but it was a good dinner!

He graduated when I was in the 6th grade, so I wasn't in high school with him or his class. It was a K-12 school, so you often knew everyone who was in the building at the same time as you, to be honest. And many of those were related.

Anyway, even so, I knew several people in my husband's class simply because of their popularity or whatever. Some of them were just so cool. And it's pretty awesome to me now to talk to these people who seemed to be kinda idolized when they were in school. Even having something in common with them is just exciting for me. It's a funny, funny thing. I don't feel like I'm fully describing what I mean, so I hope someone out there knows what I mean. Long past the time of "cool" people and "uncool" people, it's nice to visit with people who likely wouldn't have given you the time of day back then. Starstruck that they would pay me any attention at all, being I was the uncoolest of uncool. :P

I wonder if the feeling is much the same with real celebrities?

Anyway, just a short little note to talk about that. Anyone else feel that way?