Monday, March 14, 2016

Give Us Time

There is something that just came to me as I was sitting around here thinking about things. 

I've started to realize that for myself, I need a minute or two to adjust to some things. I'm a planner by nature, and I tend to plan things, even just in my own head, about how the day might go, or what we might do today, tomorrow, etc. I don't always share these thoughts or plans, but it might just be an unconscious thing that happens in order to help me feel less anxious. 

Then, typically my husband come in and tells me something he's doing, or something that we were invited to do, and it shakes me. I usually am VERY resistant at first, frustrated, trying to keep it together sometimes, other times I kinda lose it and get cranky and/or silent.

However, after a short period of time, I'm okay with it. I just needed some time to repaint the picture I had in my head.

I've thought about this often with other people who I know who I am assuming are undiagnosed autistics. I can sense their resistance when something unexpected happens to them, or is asked of them. I can sense their hesitation to agree, or say yes to, whatever just happened. I have to give them time. Usually, if I am lucky enough to ask them ahead of time, then I can not expect an answer right away, and I can ask them the next day or something for confirmation. 

So, to make this short, pay attention to the people in your life. As I've said before, I fully believe that there are many many people in the world who are undiagnosed and will not ever be diagnosed. Pay attention to what people need, and think about it, and adjust accordingly. That difficult family member or coworker in your life might just be autistic, and if you adjust your thinking, you might be able to find a way to make a positive out of the sometimes difficult.