Tuesday, August 18, 2015

What'd You Say?

I need to google some more. Though I did get a message from my E-friend, Aspie Writer, and I guess I'm not alone.

I can't hear. But I can, really. I can hear so much. I don't think I would say I have super sensitive hearing, but I hear everything even when I'm asleep (at least it feels like it!). 

I hear everything, but nothing. 

I wonder what the science is on hearing and autism. I know I have read things about it, but not lately, so I'm not remembering what they all say. But I think that basically, we can't filter out which is important to hear and which is not. 

A huge example, since we spend so much time driving - we live in the middle of nowhere - often B tries to talk to me when we are driving somewhere. I don't like AC, and it died again anyway, so windows open. Right next to my ear. BBBBBLLLLLTTTTHHHH.

He tries to talk and I just can't hear him. My brain can't filter out the blowing air noise so I can hear him talk. I think that's how it goes.

OR, even if I'm thinking/stewing/ruminating about something, I'll be having inner conversations with myself or imaginary versions of people, and I can't seem to hear anyone talk. 

My husband has very sensitive hearing. We 'joke' that he could hear a mouse farting on the fourty, but it's not much of a joke, he probably could. My son has had sensitivities to sound since he was born, LOVING trains, but always covering his ears, or freaking out a little when they sneak up on him unexpectedly. I, on the other hand, might not hear someone talking to me right behind me. 

I wonder if somehow I ended up overcompensating and blocking out EVERYTHING because I couldn't figure out which thing to listen to. I know that I was pretty good at that in school, because I don't remember hearing much crap in class. Maybe I got tired of hearing them talk about me so I just learned to block it out?

I remember as a kid that one of the biggest thing that made my dad mad was not hearing him. We would get in so much trouble, when honestly, I had literally not hear him speak at all. No use explaining that to him, he was just too mad. Now I get it. I do the same stupid thing. I hate it when the kids don't hear me. I hate it when they just don't hear me! I really really try to remember some "Mark Gungor" style rules, get into the same zip code! I've gotten better (!!!) to where at least if I can't go to him, I will at least wait until I call him to me before I give him any kind of relevant information or instructions. But I still don't like not being heard.

Incidentally, I don't like being "heard", where people don't understand what I'm saying either, but I digress.

I wonder how other people on the spectrum deal with hearing and sound. Any chance an ear doc helps at all? I feel like if I go get a test, I'm going to pass with flying colors. I'm sure I could hear beeping with sound blocking headphones in a silent booth. That's not when I have trouble. Though, when do I get to sit in a silent booth anyway? 

Let me know if you have any thoughts on this in the comments!

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