Friday, March 28, 2014

Max. Heartbreaking. Story of my life.
This is a show on television. It is written and acted out. So people can easily assume that it is maybe sorta based on real life, but mostly fictional.

I'm here to tell you that nothing about how Max has been treated is fictional. These things happen. Probably every single day somewhere there is a kid being bullied like this. And its even more likely if that kid is on the spectrum.
I tend to be trusting of people. This characteristic gets me into some pretty interesting situations. You would think that trusting people would be rewarded with honest and kind friendships and people who trust me as much as I trust them. So far, I haven't found that to be the case very often.

When I was in school, I didn't even know I had Aspergers. I don't even remember it being on my radar. It wasn't talked about in the news as some 'epidemic'. No one talked about it and no one seemed to have been diagnosed with it (though I have noticed there are so many adults being diagnosed as adults, and I know there are a huge percentage that aren't and won't be diagnosed). 

When I was in school, those were MY FEELINGS.
If I'm so smart, why don't I know why they are laughing at me? Why don't I know why they are picking on me? Why me? What, is there a kick me sign on my back? 


Which, I suppose, makes them not nice kids doesn't it. They thought because they weren't druggies getting suspended or detention that they were the good kids. They thought that because they were getting good grades, or on the sports team, that they were the good kids. I'm here to tell you that there are fewer good kids than it appears. The good kids are overrated, because they can be just as mean and bully just as well as anybody else. Only its worse because I trusted them. I trusted that they WEREN'T the ones teasing me. I thought that they were the ones who might defend me or even stand up for me when things happened. I was shocked to see them actually joining the bullying instead of sticking up for me. And I was heartbroken. Every time I was left confused and wondering what was happening, and how it was happening. Weren't they supposed to be the nice kids? Aren't the nice kids supposed to step in or something when I need help? That's what makes them nice kids right?

These are the kids who got credit for a peer helpers group that really didn't exist (it was something to write on a college application and something to get out of class to be in the yearbook photo for). These kids got awards and scholarships based on their "service in the community", when really that mean they played sports and entertained us 4 times a week. 

Kids cannot really be held responsible, can they? What kid would actually step into a group of angry teenagers beating on (physically or mentally) another student? What kid can actually be expected to be brave enough to put themselves and their reputation on the line for the loser? It might be social suicide I suppose. And it's scary. That means putting yourself physically on the line for someone else. What if they turn on you instead? What if they beat you up, or reject you? Then what? Then you're stuck alone and rejected too. 

It's terribly sad. And teachers can't be everywhere every second either. 

I don't have any solutions unfortunately. I don't really know anyone who does. Even homeschooling you are going to eventually meet that person who uses you and tosses you like a piece of trash. I guess that maybe if you have a strong family backing you up, maybe it doesn't hurt so bad. But not a lot of kids have that either.

Point is, things like what happened to Max, and his resulting feelings and hurts, those are real. I felt my own pain as real as if it were happening as I watched that scene. It was beautiful and raw, and so realistic. It was all that it should be. Every school should be showing that kind of story as some kind of life skills class or something. Every student should see the results of their actions. I don't think it would cut deep enough though, just showing one little show/episode/scene. But something needs to happen. I just don't know what. 

This is what we with Aspergers face. And if you think it stops at graduation, you're wrong. I've encountered this kind of thing in every college I've been at (3), and as an adult I've seen it more times than I can believe. It's frustrating. Unlike kids, adults should know better and have a better control over their actions or reactions. Adults should be able to stop themselves and realize that what they are doing is wrong. But sadly, there are plenty who don't. 

No comments:

Post a Comment