Thursday, August 1, 2013

Overwhelmed = Time To Go Home

For the first time ever, our phones got shut off because of a huge bill paying mess.

Without going into too much detail, a check was mailed, and it was cashed on July 19th, but it was not posting to our account. I've called a bunch of times to try to figure it out, they kept giving us extensions and pretty much telling us it takes 10 days to process checks. The last time I called, I was told that from the time a check is cashed through your bank, it takes 10 more business days to post. That wouldn't be until this Friday. NOW I'm told that it shouldn't take that long, that now they need to do a lost payment case, and I have to have a copy of the cashed check faxed to them. I don't fully know when this will be resolved, but I find it extremely frustrating that they have their money, yet I'm being penalized with no service until they can find their mistake. I'M the one who's guilty until I do the work to prove to them otherwise.

Needless to say, after standing at the store for maybe an hour talking to customer service, getting disconnected and having to call back again and tell the story all over again, and talking to a supervisor who apparently has no power whatsoever and cannot turn the service back on without the payment being made.... I am completely and totally spent for the day. I could probably go to bed right now and sleep until morning. 

I've often read of Aspies being completely overwhelmed by situations and being totally out of it and wiped out afterwards, but I find that rarely do those things happen to me. I am almost obsessed with making sure that everything is taken care of, even to the point where I ignore other things or overstress it so much that I ignore other things until I make sure everything is ok. I have a need to control all the balls in my world, and rarely do I drop the balls. I do a really good job normally.

This situation was beyond my control. Totally and completely out of my control. I could not do anything about getting the payment in sooner (and not only because I didn't have the money), so the payment being this late was pretty much something I had no control over, yet I and my husband are now being penalized for it. Due to some other factor, now we're stuck in this issue. It really hurts that I try SO HARD to keep it under control, and because of a completely uncontrollable factor, here we are. 

It's the most frustrated I have ever been about bills. We did what we could. We did EVERYTHING. A good, hardworking, honest person just can't make it anymore. 

And though I had several other things to do today, I quit. I went home. I left. I guess I have to go to town tomorrow anyway, so I will hopefully deal with it more then. But I felt so disappointed and frustrated that I couldn't get it all done today so that tomorrow wouldn't have to be so stressful.

I just hate this. And I'm totally exhausted. And now that I'm going to be gone tomorrow, I have to make sure to clean house today so that I don't have to worry about it tomorrow. Sigh. And like I said, I'm exhausted. 

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