Sunday, September 6, 2015

Crying

I have never understood that whole "cry it out" method thing.

Even when I was a little kid, I could not STAND hearing a baby cry. I would rather hold any baby for any amount of time, than hear them cry. Everything in my heart, soul and body cries out to stop the baby's sad cries. 

This, of course, has carried over to parenting. We have only used any version of CIO once or twice with our kids and that was times where we were at our wits end or something, and we could properly judge that it was the best thing in that situation, and when we got our ears back we went back for that baby! 

However, there are some times where the crying will not stop. I'd still rather a baby cry in the arms of their loving parents than alone. 

But what I am specifically getting at today is a kind of crying that is unlike any other. That crying is due to night terrors! 

Night terrors are when a baby or child wakes up crying, and seemingly will not stop. This can last from 10 minutes or longer, and usually happen to kids under 5. There also appears to be a genetic connection, just like autism, which does not surprise me. I also wonder if there isn't a connection to autism itself. 

There have been the same suggestions to how to deal with this for many years. It seems they know no more now than they did when I was a kid, or even before. 

One way of dealing with it is if your kid is a repeat night terror kid, to wake them up before they would wake up with the terror. So if your child usually has a night terror about an hour after they go to sleep, you would get the up about 45 minutes after they go to sleep, and take them to the bathroom or give them a drink. Just something little that is enough to maybe break the cycle of the terror and maybe avoid it. 

There was a period of time with my son where we would wake him up and take him to the bathroom before I went to bed. That seemed to work. Also, for a while when he was potty training, if he woke with the night terror and I took him to the bathroom, it would almost seem as if that was the cause (at least at that point), and it would cut it short or stop it. 

But I would also like to say again as I was in the beginning of this post, I can't stand the crying. And having no real way of stopping it makes it even more frustrating for me. I just want my babies happy and peaceful, and a night terror is neither of those! They're worked up, and I get worked up, and no one is having a good time and sadly there's not a whole lot one can do! I have tried with my daughter taking her to the potty and she cried even harder (and didnt potty either). 

It is pretty confusing too because their eyes might be open and they might actually act and look like they are awake, so if you try to ask what is wrong you get to convincing yourself they could actually answer (and they can't)! And all you want in that moment is for them to tell you what is wrong, so you can make it better!

Sometimes it almost looks like they can see something scary! I will tell you that I have often used prayer and talking to Jesus to get through this because it sometimes seems so convincing that they are seeing something I can't see. That, in and of itself, is pretty freaking terror inducing, even for me. But the good news is that if and when I finally think of that solution, it usually does the trick. Strange.

Anyway, I just feel so badly for babies, kids, and people in general who have tears. Sometimes I don't know how to react to someone crying, especially if I don't know someone well. I don't want to seem strange or make someone uncomfortable, or them mad at me for stepping over a boundary. With kids, though, there usually isn't the same hesitation, I feel deep sadness for them and my heart just aches. Of course, worse with my own kids.

I'm going to assume its a sound sensitivity. LOL

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