Tuesday, June 3, 2014

People Just Need To Listen

I've been through several things in my life where I knew what I was talking about, but no one would believe me. I am not the kind of hypochondriac that freaks out about some little symptom and overreacts into thinking that there is something wrong when there isn't, though I know there are a lot of people out there like that. I research what I'm talking about and I try to figure it out for myself before I go running off an hour away to the doctor, or whatever.

What drives me crazy is that you can do all that research and find out what you're talking about, only to encounter the medical professionals who do not know what you or they are talking about. Of course, in their position of "authority" or "power" over you, will overrule your research and feelings and opinions and decisions and claim that theirs is the right one. So often you can end up feeling discouraged and sometimes even that maybe you are a little crazy. 

I love it when we find out that we aren't the least bit crazy. I love it when our feelings and research is verified and supported by someone. I love it when we can help others through what they are going through because we went through it or we found a way through it or we found a solution. 

I've found my support and verification. Now its just the battle of finding out where to go from here, how to make it work. Usually the hardest and most time intensive part. :( I don't like to talk on the phone and the email I sent 2 weeks ago has not received a response, so that route did not work. I have a hard time hearing, and I have a hard time remembering all the information given. I'd much rather have it in print form so I can return to it to remind myself or just reread the information. I try to take notes, but usually they talk too fast and I end up missing parts of what they say from writing.

In the end, I realize that more people need to listen. If the doctor, that first nurse in the hospital (who it was claimed that she was the lactation person on shift that day), the ENT we saw (who did snip the lip), if any of them had just LISTENED to me, instead of blowing me off with a "she's fine".... we would have had it all taken care of 10 months ago, and I wouldn't feel like they all let me down. You have a parent with a concern, especially when she's mentioned it at every appointment since she was born, wouldn't you take the time to look up information about it? Wouldn't you take her word for it and just do what needs to be done? And what about the parents who had to wean early, or lost their milk, or never could get the breastfeeding relationship figured out because their baby was lip or tongue tied and you didn't even have the information to help them??

This is so wrong, and so frustrating. I'm hearing from more and more people who are finding out that their kid has lip and/or tongue ties all along! More people who were never told that it was a possibility, never told that their troubles nursing could be caused by a tie at all.

I watch my daughter as she clucks her little tongue and I can visibly see the tightness under her tongue. The IBCLC that I saw took a 2 second swipe under her tongue and agreed with my 10 month long knowledge of the situation. Why did it take 10 months? Why didn't a single doctor or nurse this whole time feel what I felt, or just take my word for it?

It's frustrating. It's annoying. It's a complete ignorance of the medical community to ignore my knowledge and feelings by saying things like "she's fine".

I'd like to say I've found doctors who understand the issues here. The ones I have heard of are a distance away. I do have 4 places I am going to try calling. One is out of state (just barely). All are over 2 hours from home. It shouldn't be that way. As many people as I'm hearing are having tongue tie lip tie troubles, this should be nation wide, in every hospital and clinic that deals with babies.

If I found doctors who understood what I'm talking about and just took my word for it, and believed that I know whats best, I would put my money there. But I haven't.

For a long time I blamed myself and just put myself down thinking that maybe they're right, I'm just being persistently autistic and I must be wrong.  That's the problem. They make you feel like you're stupid. How many stories do we have to hear where the parent just wouldn't give up and found out something serious was going on and saved their child's life by not giving up? How many of those stories do we have to hear before the medical community starts taking moms seriously? 

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