Wednesday, August 1, 2012

I'm Not Making This Up

So, I'm injured.

Seriously. I have pain in my thumb, and its sincerely there. Sometimes its aweful, so bad I can't move my thumb without severe pain. Sometimes it doesn't seem like there is any pain at all. It doesn't make sense, it doesn't seem to hurt worse in the morning and get better, it just hurts when I move a certain way, or put any pressure on it at all (as in opening something, pushing something, that kind of pressure, muscular pressure, not pushing on it or something.)

This is more frustrating at work. I like what I do. I like the different cleaning, ironing and etc that I do. And I can't do much of it without pain. This is very frustrating.

More frustrating is that all I can think about is not to complain too much because I don't want people to think that I'm making it up for attention or to get out of doing certain jobs or doing the work. Remember, I like what I do. I don't want them to not let me do something, or for them to be unable to ask me to do something because I have some sort of disability or pain.

But the pain is sincerely there. It really exists. I'm not making it up. In fact, even if I HATED the work, I still would be unable to make something up to get out of doing it. What do I have to gain in a job by doing that? Nothing. I don't make drama, I don't make stuff up.

So why do I feel as if people might think I do? Why SHOULD I have to feel as if they think I do?

I know that other people make drama, make stuff up, make up excuses not to work, or not to do certain parts of the work. I don't care, usually im happy to do just about anything they ask me to do at work, even work later than the rest to get some more hours in.

Anyway. I'm just venting that I have this thought in my head that someone might think I'm making this up. I'm just not capable of doing it, and the fact that I'm so aware of it should be a good indicator that I'm on the right track here. I'm aware others do it, and I don't want to play those games.


***** Addition August 2 2012 (original post Aug 1 2012)
I also don't often cry wolf. I have been accused of being a wimp about this. If this were a temporary cramp or something like that, I would probably blow it off. I would do what I've been doing, rub it, rest it, stuff like that. I am not making this up; it HURTS. There are times when it feels ok, but it still hurts. Then there are times like yesterday when its seriously excruciating. I know that it is ok to feel things! Feeling pain does not equal weakness.
Just had to add that. ;)

5 comments:

  1. It sounds like a sprain to me. I get things like this all the time. The past two weeks I have had extreme pain in my left hand and cannot for the life of me think of what I could have done to it but it is getting better now....I rubbed Aspercreme on it and that helped a little. Eventually it goes away. And because you feel it when you are working, I am going to assume that the sprain happened because of what you do at work. And as far as the way you feel, I have felt the same thing. People are naturally suspicious because of the people who lie and cheat and steal time from employers, to the point that they don't even know how to treat someone who just keeps working and showing up anyway.

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  2. I get excruciating pain in my thumb from my carpal tunnel! Not fun at all!

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  3. Ouch!

    I don't know if you can afford the money and time to go see a doctor about this, and I hope you do so that you can get it checked out! Like Jutta and Krista said, there are lots of ways this pain can be not just in your head!

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  4. i did go to the doctor, it was/is tendonitis. wearing a splint/brace thing as often as possible. today i havent worn it at all and it feels ok. so its getting better.
    dr gave me some ibuprofen and i think i had a reaction to it tho. so i stopped taking that. oh well.

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  5. Glad you're feeling better! :)

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