Friday, May 13, 2016

Overwhelm and Eyesight

Mr B has been complaining of eyesight problems occassionally. I think in the past, I haven't taken him seriously because it came at a time where I asked him to do something and he said he "couldn't" because _____, which to any parent sounds like a convenient excuse.

But today it came when we were doing something together. Something that he offered to do, and wanted to do. He had spent several minutes talking to me on and on about something, and I was thinking how great it was that we were talking and not fighting, and not ignoring each other, and how much he was enjoying himself doing something rather mundane with me, and keeping me a captive audience while we did it. How we should do that thing more often just for the chat. 

Then he got more quiet and said his eyes were blurry. Blurry? Are you serious? Yes, he was. And I took him more serious because it came out of nowhere, he didn't want to stop doing what we were doing, and his behavior had changed.

I didn't know what to say or do. The only thing I could think of was that we had gone to town this morning, it was rather busy there, and maybe, just maybe, his brain had gone into overload mode or something. I told him maybe he needed to go to his room for a while.

He had made complaints about blurriness before, and we've been to the eye doctor, and nothing is wrong. They said he was slightly whatever-sighted (I can never remember which is which), but that the glasses they have OTC in the store would be fine for when he is reading if it helps.

But randomly going blurry? 

For some reason, when Mr B is sick, or out of sorts, I feel out of sorts too. I'm not sure that has happened much with Ms B yet. But it is intensely upsetting when Mr B is not doing well. It is almost like something about him being so much like me in so many ways bonds my brain in such a way that it makes me sick when he is sick, or it makes me scared when he is scared. I thought that with more kids and getting more relaxed that it would go away, but it doesn't. Even the slightest thing, like my assumption of him being overwhelmed, causes me to feel the same, in a fake but intense way. I don't know how to describe it. It is very frustrating because then I am acting out of my uneasy feelings toward his. I am definitely better at this than I used to be, but it still upsets me to feel icky, especially when he is. I just feel so uneasy.

I don't know the solution to this. I don't really know what is up. I hope it's nothing, that it's just the overwhelm or something and we can continue to remind him to remove himself and just close doors and shades and give himself a break. It isn't always going to be convenient to do so, but I'm hoping that takes care of it. He seemed to be find the rest of the night, spent most of it watching movies I guess while hubby and I went to dinner (his gpa watched them here at home).

Anyway. Anyone have any experience with this kind of reaction? I don't remember being a kid and having this happen? 

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