Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Feeling Things Differently

I've been having a lot of french toast lately.

I wouldn't call it a "craving" though. In fact, during none of my pregnancies would I say I had a specific craving for anything in particular. With them all I wanted sugar, but I'm kinda a sugarholic to begin with. With my son I couldn't even stand the smell of meat, and with my daughter I didn't mind it. This pregnancy I have no meat aversions.

But never was there something I wanted so desperately and couldn't have it (besides the sugar, believe me, I know how bad it is...)

But I've been having french toast a lot lately. Even when I was taken out for dinner last night, I had french toast. Today for lunch I had leftover french toast. We had french toast for breakfast both Saturday and Sunday morning. 

Is that a craving?

In my previous labors, everyone always talks about how excruciating it is. I had 2 natural births, and I don't remember excruciating. I remember uncomfortable and hard work, but it was more compared to me running a marathon (and anyone who knows me should know how much I looooove running *sarcasm). 

Maybe I'm just lucky. I did have rather short births that I started out dilating weeks ahead of time for. With both I was nearly 4-5 cms before I was feeling much besides the normal tightning. Which also reminds me of people talking about how braxton hicks were so painful, and mine are nothing more than tightning or a slight ache, nothing I would even compare to having a period to be honest.

Is there just something about it, or does it really vary that much? I mean, I know that I think of things differently, I think about different things, I know I'm different because of my autism. I know many people with autism feel the same way. 

But is it different enough that literally there are physical differences that we don't feel sensations of life the same as everyone else? I'm sure not all autistic people have "low pain" births like I have. Maybe some are on the complete other end of the spectrum completely.

What I'm saying is maybe its possible that our brains take in ALL sensory information differently enough that we have a completely different life experience because of our brain differences? Literally having physical life experiences are different, either good or bad, because of our autism?

I don't know the answer. I know some people are affected by sound, like my son. I know sometimes when my brain is overwhelmed, I have a harder time with sound too. Most of the time though I'm just very hard of hearing. 

Anyway, it was just something I thought of today and figured I would write. I know it's been a while again. I just have been so distracted I haven't thought of much to say.

Thanks, and Merry Christmas!

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