Tuesday, October 7, 2014


Are all aspies arguementative? Do we all argue with people? Or worse, do we argue with other aspies? Is there something about aspergers that leads to butting heads all the time?

I mean for this one to be a conversation, and I'd like anyone reading this to chime in. If you have found that aspies you know to be arguementative, and if you are an aspie if you find yourself to be arguementative, or something.


  1. If I am talking to someone I am close to, I tend to correct them, which can lead to arguments. I don't feel like I go out of my way to pick fights, I just have an overwhelmingly urge to correct inaccuracies.

    1. hahaha i know EXACTLY what you mean! i totally do that too! why dont people want to have their accuracies corrected? LOL
      pride thing? or what?

  2. My Aspie friend always says to me "Never argue with me" if I happen to say something that disagrees with what he thinks [but has never said]. I never get the chance to say "It's just an opinion and I don't mean to say either of us is right or wrong". But he then shuts me out and won't deal with the issue. If he had said nothing at the time I would have moved on to another topic in a nanosecond as I had no "attachment" to it at all! He gets grossly offended if I don't like something as much as he does, eg. the shade of paint he did a wall or whatever. Therefore, I find him argumentative. To describe myself I'd say I have an opinion on everything but I'm open-minded to all the other opinions and don't try to dominate anyone with my views. Others described me as quiet and some would say "shy". I can't figure out what to do or say! The only other Aspie people I interacted with closely in my life were under 18 and none of them were at all argumentative, although some were strident and obsessive about certain pet topics! eg. one 16-year-old who knew the entire bus and train timetables for a city of 1.5m people! He wanted to tell me about it all the time but he didn't argue.

    1. for me, because im not very talkative in most situations, usually the times i do get into conversation its because i feel connected or passionate about it. because of that, it really upsets me to be faced with people who just come back at me with their side, and most of the time it FEELS as if they are implying that my ways are stupid or something even when they didnt imply that at all! its almost a feeling of accusation of "well, i...." as if their way is better, do you know what i mean?

      i could understand if he has in the past gotten into painful conversations/arguements with others about things that he would prefer to just be heard. in my life, really, i want to be heard. i want people to say that they understand what im saying WITHOUT using a "but" right after that. i want them to maybe find a way to agree with what im saying, or repeat it back to me, or something. i dont know i guess its harder to describe than i thought.

      there are so many things that people consider gray areas that i see as black and white. for example, several years ago i considered breastfeeding to be THE ONLY BEST WAY to feed babies and infants and so on, but as years have gone by (and through several arguements/discussions) i have learned a lot, and now im of the mind of the thinking that it is the most ideal, but a day, a week, a month, ANY amount is better than none at all, and in some cases none at all is still what works for that family. in a perfect world, everyone would be able to and choose to breastfeed, but we dont live there.

      so i guess the sad thing is that avoiding all confrontation may lead to not learning more like i did about breastfeeding, but again you cant control it or change it. i feel that what you describe is just a desire to avoid confrontation and arguments with people where feelings get more hurt.

    2. just saw this today in my facebook feed from a page called "asperger experts" there was a video with this, but i couldnt figure out how to get a link to that exact post, but heres the content of that post:

      "There’s a hidden layer of life that most people with Asperger’s never experience, but is the source of most of the happiness & joy that one gets.
      When people with Asperger’s are constantly in what we call “Defense Mode” where they feel the need to constantly be on guard and defend, they become numb to the sensations of life, and go from true living to merely existing.
      The easiest way to ensure a happy, fulfilling and successful life for you and/or your child is to make sure that you/your child is out of defense mode.
      Find out exactly how to get someone with Asperger’s out of defense mode with our free video series at www.aspergerexperts.com/defensemode
      Also please click like and share to spread this message to those who need it.
      Danny & Hayden
      Asperger Experts
      Both Diagnosed with Aspergers
      P.S. Wondering what to do next? You’ll want to sign up for our free video series at www.aspergerexperts.com/defensemode "

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